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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 2:25 pm
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Forum Soldier
Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 295
Location: Texas
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Things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:
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Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:24 pm
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Forum Sniper
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 736
Location: New Jersey
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ApexPredator wrote: |
Things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:
__________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
: |
LoL apex.......that was very funny......
but where did u find this stuff |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 5:27 pm
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Forum HW
Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 890
Location: Rhode Island
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lmao, i laughed out loud on so many of those |
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-[CfH]-Server Admin |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:53 pm
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Forum Soldier
Joined: 10 Mar 2005
Posts: 352
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Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
hum, i really gotta try that |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:46 pm
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Forum Sniper
Joined: 27 Nov 2004
Posts: 707
Location: Peoples Minds
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rofl that's so funny |
_________________ Alien vs Predator whoever wins we lose
Frag the Weak, Hurdle the Dead
Tucker -"I'm sorry, what? It's kind of hard to hear you over the sound of your constant team killing."
"Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:50 pm
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Forum Sniper
Joined: 22 Jan 2005
Posts: 736
Location: New Jersey
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lol yea it was....could stop laughing ... almost shat my self |
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Posted:
Fri Apr 08, 2005 11:21 pm
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Forum Soldier
Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 295
Location: Texas
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I found them in a journal about law and courtrooms. They are actually true statements that were recorded by court reporters. Yes...and I laughed my ass off too when I read them the first time. Glad I brought some sunshine in to some peeps lives |
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Posted:
Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:01 am
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Forum Soldier
Joined: 25 Nov 2004
Posts: 417
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
HAHAHA stupid. |
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Posted:
Sat Apr 09, 2005 4:40 pm
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Forum H4xor
Joined: 05 Dec 2004
Posts: 1848
Location: Boston
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I like the last one with the guys brain in a jar on the table and the guy asks if he could hae stil been alive!!! |
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-[CfH]-Server Admin |
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Posted:
Sat Apr 09, 2005 9:17 pm
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Forum Scout
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 73
Location: Long Island
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heh, read this a while ago... been looking for it since then. Really funny stuff. |
_________________ Change Your Whole Lattitude
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